Only 13.1 miles to go

We are approaching the end of summer vacation at an alarming pace. During our first hour after school let out last May I wondered how I would survive the summer. 3 months. 3 potentially hot months (though it didn't turn out that way). The boys were bored, maybe feeling the let down of not being busy all of a sudden, not having anything they had to do, and thus not knowing where to begin. I wasn't bored. Not by a long shot. I was still recovering from all of the end of the year activities, doing some Dreamweaver and Photoshop work, and still trying to figure out how we would spend summer.

Well. We figured it out. We just lived it. We hung around. A lot. We had a lot of baseball. A lot of baseball. Some golf. Some swimming. Lots of burgers, hot dogs and popsicles. Lots of green ice tea and IZZEs. Lots of salads, berries, and melon. Grilled chicken. Yum! Skateboarding and bike riding. A bit of hiking, with more to come next week. I ran 2 10K races and 1 5k race and decided somewhere down the road that I would train for a 1/2 marathon, 13.1 miles of running.

But almost 3 months have gone by. We've had fun. The kids have wound down. I've even wound down even though really I'm always on edge, wound up, trying to figure out the next move. What. Should. I. Do. Always in the back of my mind. Send a resume here. Send a resume there. Hopefully the summer has been fine for the kids. I'd hate to think that they are so aware of my internal struggle. There are days I feel like I have a plan of action. There are days I feel like I'm starting from scratch with no idea of how to proceed. My only consistent focus has been on running, getting ready for Sept 6th, a 10 mile race, then Sept. 20th. the 13 mile event. Most of my other self improvements have gone by the wayside.

I would've expected more off of my waistline given running more. Last week I ran over 20 miles! That's almost twice as much as I was running at the beginning of the summer. Obviously I'm not really seeing what I'm eating because my stomach is still out there. I see a difference all over in terms of my muscles, but the fat is still sitting there. The mirror always surprises me, because I feel so much better than I look. I didn't want to start school as the frumpy mother again. In spite of all of my physical activity I still have the look of frump. Sigh. That's not likely to change in the next 2 weeks before school begins.


On the days I feel good I feel like I'm able to start over again, anew. On those other days, I realize that not everything is in my control and I can't plan those things.

All I can control is my eating, my running, and how I reevaluate my next steps. Only 13.1 miles to go.